Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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