I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
