I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
wow bdsm is so cute
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize