Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
