I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
