there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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