if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
