Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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