I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
