just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
