DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
