dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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