With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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