brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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