Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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