You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
