never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
