is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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