If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
4 words: hood of his car
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
