I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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