Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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