Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm sobbing to NWA
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
