Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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