I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
