He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize