I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
