My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
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A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
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Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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