i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
