There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
