you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
