Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
