just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
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I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize