I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
