well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
