She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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