if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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