what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
