i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
