I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
