So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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