What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
