am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
