...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize