oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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