Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
