if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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