Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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