Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
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She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
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i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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