Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
