I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
