as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
