Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
