She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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