your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
