They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
