I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
