I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
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I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
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Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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