Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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