I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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