his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
